It’s been 28 years, but Thabisile Gumede remembers the day she first experienced a schizophrenic episode. She was just 17 years old and visiting her grandmother’s farm in KwaMhlabauyalingana in the northern parts of KwaZulu-Natal.
“I heard a voice saying: ‘I’m so pathetic. Do you really think anyone cares if you’re sad?” Gumede recalls.
“I didn’t know where it came from. I looked around, and I couldn’t see anyone, but this voice kept talking to me. I got scared. I just ran home because I was out in the field. I thought I could just hide in my room, and maybe it would stop the voice from coming back.”
But the voice soon returned, this time accompanied by images of people.
“Voices were speaking to me, and images of people that I didn’t know kept popping up in different shapes and forms,” she says.
“It continued until my mind started taking me into what I call ‘the concrete bubble’ where I was punished, hurt, and utterly unable to get out.”
An isolating experience
Scared, Gumede couldn’t share those encounters with anyone.
Even when she was back at school in Durban, she would see shadows and hear whispers. Voices would tell her to do things: trip someone, push someone, she was not good enough, she was going to fail.
“It was overwhelming, and I felt isolated. I couldn’t tell my schoolmates about what I was experiencing. And when I did try to tell them about it – that I’m going through something that I don’t understand – they would just brush it off and say, ‘Oh, you’re just stressing. You know, you’re an A student. Why are you worried about anything?”
But it wasn’t just stress. Weeks later, during an exam, the situation escalated.
“The voices came back. They were telling me to stab a classmate with my pen. The learner had made a joke about me in the class a few days earlier. But I didn’t want to harm them.”
Seeking help
After this incident, Gumede decided to tell her family what had been happening. She consulted several different mental health professionals and was eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia. The condition is characterised by impaired perceptions of reality, which may include persistent hallucination.
Psychologist Dr Tsepiso Thusi says that while some of these symptoms can be treated with medication, non-medical interventions are also important.
“It’s important to help people manage their thoughts and daily lives. This includes psychoeducation so they can understand their diagnosis. Family briefings are also essential. Families need to know how to spot triggers, how to respond when symptoms increase and what practical steps to take,” Thusi says.
Gumede tells Health-e News that getting diagnosed was a saving grace.
“Once I was diagnosed, things got a bit easier. I was on medication, and I had the support I needed from psychologists and psychiatrists,” she says.
Facing misconceptions
But beyond the medical establishment, she had to contend with myths and misconceptions.
“People around me didn’t understand what I was going through. When I went to church and shared some of my experiences, they would brush it off as a demonic spirit or something that I needed to really pray about, to pray it away.”
According to Thusi, this is a common experience, even among his own patients, which is very concerning. He warns that telling people to stop their medication is not only harmful, but unethical as well.
“As much as there is a spiritual explanation or African spiritual knowledge about psychotic episodes, there is also a medical reason behind the symptoms of schizophrenia,” says Thusi.
“Whether it is depression, schizophrenia, or bipolar disorder, churches need to be well informed about some of the common illnesses which are misinterpreted by indigenous knowledge.”
Sharing her story
Gumede did not stop taking her medication. Instead, she decided to document her experience in a book titled ‘Inside the Concrete Bubble’. The three-year process of writing the book was not easy. Gumede shares that the voices in her mind gave her little reprieve.
“I wrote the book to let people know what I’ve been through, living with schizophrenia for 28 years. But I hope that people take from this book that schizophrenia is a complex mental illness,” she says. “It is very difficult to live with, but you can overcome it. You can get the help that you need. When you have the right support, you can live with the illness effectively.” – Health-e News
If you, or someone you know, needs mental health support, call SADAG toll-free at 0800 456 789
