Dr Ifunanya Ilodibe, the Chief Executive Officer & Chief Medical Officer at EHA Clinics.
On Mother’s Day, we celebrate our mothers with the things we know how to give. Food, fabric, a new bag, time together. We thank them for their sacrifices, their prayers, and the ways they held everything together when things were hard. We bring them flowers, long phone calls, and lengthy Instagram captions. But there is one gift most of us never think to give, which might be the most important one: preventive healthcare.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately, both as a physician and as a daughter. There is a particular kind of woman who raised many of us. The kind who woke up before everyone else and went to bed last; who knew when you had a test at school before you remembered to tell her; who could stretch a pot of soup further than should have been possible and still ask if you had eaten enough? She was always fine. You never had to worry about her.
Except that, was she fine? Did you ever really ask?
This is a pattern I recognise and relate to, both in my own family and in the clinical work I do every day. Nigerian mothers, and African mothers more broadly, are raised with a particular kind of strength that can make it very hard to admit vulnerability. Complaining feels like weakness. Resting feels like laziness. No matter how old those children are, they simply do not want to bother them; they have the urge that they have to do it all. So they say they are fine. And we believe them.
But as a doctor, I know the body does not always announce when something is wrong. For instance, hypertension is called the silent killer for a reason. Many people live with it for years while feeling relatively well and managing their daily routines. Meanwhile, the pressure quietly damages the heart, kidneys, and blood vessels. Diabetes often follows a similar pattern. So does heart disease. Some cancers can develop quietly, too. When detected early, many are highly treatable. When detected late, the options become far more limited.
In Nigeria, hypertension affects roughly one in three adults, yet many people remain undiagnosed until complications appear. By the time symptoms become obvious, the condition may already have been developing for years. This is why preventive healthcare is not a luxury. It is not only reserved for the sick; rather, it is the opposite. It is how we stay well or detect problems early enough to manage them properly.
But many of our mothers have not had a comprehensive health check in years. Some have never had one. They visit a doctor when something is wrong, not before. Symptoms are often managed with prayer, local medications, and the assumption that whatever it is will pass. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it does not.
How else can we honour our mothers beyond Mother’s Day but in a lasting way? We are often very good at celebrating them. We are lacking in protecting them. I have sat with women in a clinic who were brought in by a worried child and described symptoms they had quietly managed for two, three, or five years. They did not believe their symptoms were serious enough to mention. For instance, the fatigue felt like normal ageing, the swelling felt like stress, and the chest discomfort seemed like indigestion. Sometimes it was. Sometimes it was not.
There are three questions I encourage adult children to ask their mothers:
When did you last have a full health check?
Not a quick trip to the chemist. Not a visit to treat a specific complaint. A proper health review includes blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol levels, kidney function, a clinical breast examination, and a conversation about any symptoms that may have been lingering. If she cannot remember the last time, you know what to do.
Is there anything you have been ignoring because it did not feel serious enough to mention?
This question often unlocks things. Because there usually is something. A pain that comes and goes. A change in appetite. Something that felt too small to bring up, or perhaps too frightening to say out loud. Sometimes people simply need permission to speak about it.
Is there anything about your health you have not shared because you did not want to worry us?
Our mothers still protect us, even now. Even when they are the ones who may need protecting. Beyond these conversations, there are small signs worth paying attention to when you spend time with your mother. Fatigue that seems heavier than before. A change in appetite. Difficulty sleeping, or sleeping far more than usual. Mobility or balance that seems slightly different. Forgetfulness that goes beyond ordinary absent-mindedness. A gradual withdrawal from activities she used to enjoy.
None of these automatically means something serious is wrong. But they are all worth discussing with a doctor. One of the most meaningful shifts families can make is moving from reacting to health crises to planning ahead to avoid medical emergencies.
Our mothers gave us so much that we never had to ask for. The school fees they stretched themselves to pay. The nights they stayed awake when we were sick. The prayers were said quietly in rooms we never saw. The meals, the discipline, the quiet reserve, the constant worry. They gave all of this without being asked, often without acknowledgement, and almost always without complaint.
So, consider giving something she would never think to ask for but genuinely deserves. Book the appointment. Have the conversation. Pay attention. After a lifetime of making sure everyone else was fine, she deserves someone to do the same for her.
The post Ifunanya Ilodibe: The Best Gift You Can Give Your Mother is Preventive Healthcare appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.
